Blog

Photo of Stu Klitsner & Steve McQueen in bowler hats, looking at each other playfully, with a guitar in hand, in The Towering Inferno
End of Life
Sara K Schneider

The Incredible Will to Sing

The will to make it to a loved one’s graduation or wedding, or to the birth of a new baby, somehow compels the body to obey the will. Stu Klitsner was going to sing at his only granddaughter’s wedding, come hell or high water.

Read More »
Healing
Sara K Schneider

The Chaplain’s Feet

Chaplains exercise their humanness with every patient or family member they meet. What are the parallels between the kind of presence chaplains bring in the spiritual realm and that of the dancer who sees her choreography and performance as a kind of chaplaincy?

Read More »
Anvil with the branch and the phrases "Disarm Hearts," "Forge Peace," and Cultivate Justice."
Culture
Sara K Schneider

Whacking a Gun

At the 2023 Parliament of the World’s Religions, blacksmiths from RAWTools demonstrated how they took guns that had been surrendered from a variety of sources and re-formed them into garden hand tools, making literal their mission and message of anti-violence. The organization takes literally the passage from the Book of Isaiah to “beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.”

Read More »
Group Dynamics
Sara K Schneider

A Vaccine for Loneliness?

Public health has gotten bigger and bigger in recent decades. What was only thought of in the past as individual choices, like drug addiction, gun violence, or smoking crossed over to be thought of by many as social issues and, eventually, as matters of public health. With the Surgeon General’s report that came out in May, 2023, loneliness and isolation may assume their place alongside them as social epidemics.

Read More »
Culture
Sara K Schneider

Grief on the Comedy Stage

Is it in supremely bad taste, or potentially healing in a social setting, to use death and dying as material on the American comedy stage? The post-pandemic fad of comedy shows that deal with what have been taboo topics is currently walking that line.

Read More »
Anxiety explained visually by illustrator-social worker Lindsay Braman.
Activities & Tools
Sara K Schneider

If You’re a Pro, You Gotta Have a Pro

Lindsay Braman’s example can open your mind about what sorts of both joy and utility you can create, simply by letting your own gifts out of the closet and using them in your work, in recognizing that, if a therapist/doodler can connect two passions, so can you.

Read More »
Very pale woman with scarf covering her hair and hospital drip at side, looking out window.
Healing
Sara K Schneider

What If It Could All Be Comfort Care?

When you’re in pain, it’s hard to think of anything else. But even in the midst of being laid up with a bad back or during that excruciating moment after surgery when you realize that, no, it isn’t that the operation was a breeze, it’s just that you had really good painkillers, there are almost always parts of you that do feel well: they’re just a bit harder to access. Even when everything is going smoothly.

Read More »
How THE HUMAN JOURNEY® works
Sara K Schneider

Could You Come A Bit Closer, Dear?

What the lorgnette is to glasses, THE HUMAN JOURNEY is to listening. Not only do we help families listen to each other at a moments of intense change due to serious illness, end of life, bereavement, or other major life transition, but we help family members perceive that they are being heard.

Read More »
Healing
Sara K Schneider

Just How Many Hats Can a Person Wear?

These were some of the many “hats” that staff at a special education district identified a few weeks ago as ones they had adopted during the pandemic, when I returned there after a pandemic hiatus to conduct a professional development workshop.

Read More »
Group Dynamics
Sara K Schneider

Every Person’s Life is Worth a Novel

We’re ready for ya. All handy in its front pocket, THE HUMAN JOURNEY® has all the ways to meet family members right where they are. We have a way to meet people who don’t want to talk about feelings. We have a way to meet people who would rather express something silently, with a facial expression, a gesture, or a stance, than with telling or sharing.

Read More »
A stylized portrait of the Founding Fathers at Mount Rushmore
How THE HUMAN JOURNEY® works
Sara K Schneider

So, Who’s the Father?

So, Who’s the Father?” isn’t exactly what a person who’s expecting wants to hear. It can feel like an accusation, like an invasion of privacy, or like a completely irrelevant question, depending on one’s method of conception, key relationships, or plan for childrearing. Even in days when there were fewer methods for conceiving a child or for avenues for getting one to adulthood, Emily Post might have advised just to stick with a hearty congratulations.

Read More »
Group Dynamics
Sara K Schneider

Ostranenie: A Fantastic Russian Word

Learn to pronounce ostranenie and impress your friends with your accent as well as with this cool word. And what a concept … to learn to re-see, as if with new eyes, those things our eyes think they know so well, they no longer see them at all. To learn anew about the people we think we know best.

Read More »
Activities & Tools
Sara K Schneider

The Creature Comforts Checklist

This is it our “Creature Comforts Checklist.” It’s an odd name, we know.

We called it that, recognizing that grief is a very physical thing and that sometimes what grievers most need (aside from not being asked if they need anything) is not to talk but to be. Just a creature.

When you’re grieving, you miss the physical presence of the person you lost …

Read More »
Distressed young woman in bed, with her eyes closed, her hand high on her chest, near her throat, and a pillow on her lap.
Activities & Tools
Sara K Schneider

Beyond “In Through the Nose, Out Through the Mouth”

You’ve seen it a thousand times on television. Just a bit of momentary drama to set the stage. It’s a medical show. Someone is having an anxiety attack. Maybe he’s hyperventilating.The medical professional or first responder fixes her eyes on this (typically) mouth breather and says emphatically and slowly, “Follow me. Breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth.”

Read More »
How THE HUMAN JOURNEY® works
Sara K Schneider

How Can Something Be Neither Good Nor Bad?

Perhaps “bad” and “painful” sound the same at first, but the distinction matters. When we label an event objectively bad, we resist and harden against it. That of course doesn’t change the event and it may contribute to making it even harder to bear! But when we label it in terms of its effect on us (“hard to bear,” etc.), we acknowledge our difficulty without resisting what is happening,

Read More »
Healing
Sara K Schneider

Becoming the Witness

I’m an avid reader of Twitter for its political and epidemiological news, which often appear prior to (and prove more informative than) what can be made available under the rubric of conventional media. I continue to be struck by a story that Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Nadja Drost shared on Twitter — moving in part because of what it says about the power of witnessing another’s struggle.

Read More »
Culture
Sara K Schneider

Your Relationships (By the Numbers)

Even though our relationships might seem like the least quantifiable things we have in our lives, that doesn’t seem to stop people from thinking of them as sums. I’ve seen that play out a few ways. I’ve met people who talked about their “A” list and their “B” lists of friends.

Read More »
Activities & Tools
Sara K Schneider

Pop the Question!

Losing someone you love brings with it a kind of wistful mystery: who was my loved one … really? What do I wish I knew about them that I didn’t even think to ask them while I could? What would I give up chocolate for the rest of my life to know? (Granted, that would have to be a really, really important question.)

Read More »
Grief & Loss
Sara K Schneider

Marmalade Sandwiches

The marmalade sandwiches started piling up at Buckingham Palace, and at neighboring Green Park, during the first few days after Queen Elizabeth II died. Likely, they were a reference to the Queen’s charming comedy sketch with beloved British storybook character Paddington Bear, a surprise (even for her

Read More »
End of Life
Sara K Schneider

The Paradox of Anticipatory Grief

How do you both love someone and grieve them while they’re still here, either physically or mentally (or both)? This is the paradox of anticipatory grief, what you feel when: You know your child is going to die at some point of the illness with which

Read More »
How THE HUMAN JOURNEY® works
Sara K Schneider

The Strong, Silent Types Who Go on THE HUMAN JOURNEY®

THE HUMAN JOURNEY® seems like less of a lift at first for women than for men. It’s a truism that, among our participants, the women of the family, typically the matriarchs, are the ones who get the process of gathering the family to take part

Read More »
Grief & Loss
Sara K Schneider

Leave It at the Door

You likely care about someone who is, or will be, grieving. I’d like you to give you some thoughts about how to help. Please have a look at this note a school librarian found outside her front door or slipped underneath. Whose day wouldn’t a letter like that make? Reginae’s

Read More »
How THE HUMAN JOURNEY® works
Sara K Schneider

When the Child Gets the Grown-Ups’ Act Together

Painting by Alice Pike Barney, n.d. The Child Gets the Adults Into Shape Eleven-year-old Oliver had seen it all: the terse words exchanged by his mother and his adult stepbrother Lucas, who seemed to haplessly back himself into one fix after another.  There were the experiments with drugs,

Read More »
Grief & Loss
Sara K Schneider

Alan M. Schneider, 1925 – 2022

When my father died two weeks ago, on February 23rd, in addition to his human grandchildren and a couple of “grand-dogs,” he also left a “grand-invention,” THE HUMAN JOURNEY®, his daughter’s progeny. I’ve never thought to give him credit for it in public. Instead, in podcast

Read More »
Woman sitting on sofa with hand propping up head. Tears are disrupting her heavy make-up.
Grief & Loss
Sara K Schneider

The Accidental Grief Coach

Life coaches tend to focus on the positive and on the future, on where their clients want to go from here. Coaches may want to see a client through a career change, a nutritional goal, or a commitment to becoming a better girl- or boyfriend.

Read More »
Grief & Loss
Sara K Schneider

Death Doula Training Isn’t the “End” of It

Once you complete any death doula training you need, and you hang out your shingle to offer your services to the public, you begin to realize that what you call yourself matters. You may have noticed the array of names for how providers in your

Read More »
Grief & Loss
Sara K Schneider

Pastoral Care and Counseling in the Realm of Grief

Christians might call those who visit families going through grief or life challenges their pastoral care team or visitation ministry. Jewish congregations might call their congregational practice of visiting the sick or in need Bikur Cholim. Compassionate members of congregations and spiritual groups across Islam,

Read More »
Grief & Loss
Sara K Schneider

What Pastoral Training Doesn’t Teach About Grief and Loss

As a pastor, assisting the bereaved offers an important means to touch the lives of those experiencing the loss of a loved one. Indeed, regardless of denomination, this can often be one of the most essential roles that religious institutions can play in the lives

Read More »
How THE HUMAN JOURNEY® works
Sara K Schneider

Where can you walk and walk and yet not get anywhere?

Labyrinths give insight and perspective. You follow a path that may have lots of crooks along the way but which has no tricks, only the trek Labyrinths render concrete that experience of surrendering yourself to the possibility of re-seeing. They are willingness embodied in earth

Read More »
Healing
Sara K Schneider

There is Nothing so Wise as a Circle

There is nothing so wise as a circle. What is the power of sitting in a circle, of breaking our very Western demand that one person be the focus of all the others? From insisting that all the kids face the teacher, kindergarten classrooms have

Read More »
Healing
Sara K Schneider

What’s with The Hero’s Journey?

You may, as I have, noticed lately lots and lots of people connecting what they do with the “Hero’s Journey,” that famous archetypal story structure made famous by Joseph Campbell. In the past week alone, I’ve seen people hooking the Hero’s Journey up with everything

Read More »